Hi... You need Guidance and Counselling.
No words can explain your despair and no other tools will work. I have worked on several such cases so telling you with an experience of several years.
Therapy/Counselling is an experiential process which cannot be described in words. It brings subtle changes from within when you take it on regular and continuous basis over a defined period of time.
Next Steps
Start taking Counselling Sessions from a Psychologist
Health Tips
Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Senior Psychologist
Cell: Nine Six Seven One Three Zero Three One Three Four (whatsapp)
Website:https://gunjanmaithil.wixsite.com/therapy
App: http://wix.to/fECHB08?ref=cl