im very very sorry you must be going through tremendous pressure. instead of giving you an open advice. i would like to you to take therapy from any one of us. guilt and grief both needs to be processed consult with me or any psychologist for counseling and therapy. all the best :)

Hi dear..I understand the pain u went through and u r still going through. This a huge loss for a mother and it's very normal for you to feel so. N the grief is the most important part to eventually heal yourself.

Hi i understand it must be a huge stressor for u

Hello mam, sorry for you loss. What you are going through is grief reaction, it's a very normal human response to any loss. You are in denial - unable to accept the loss which is very normal in grief. Also you have act of commission - that you are somehow responsible for the sons loss - which is also very normal in grief. Usually it takes time for grief to resolve. Give it some time, once it resolves you could able to have a normal emotional regulation, relations and responsibilities. If you couldn't able to handle it please consult with a psychiatrist. Thank you.