Growing up in an emotionally challenging environment could lead to having such breakdowns.
For whatever you are going through I can see that it's difficult and you have reached to the saturation point. But there is definitely a lot more hope once you pass this phase instead of giving up on yourself.
At this moment, you need more than a friendly talk and listening ear.
Next Steps
You must consider contacting a psychiatrist immediately for having suicidal thoughts. You can also opt for therapy with a psychologist to help you heal yourself emotionally and psychologically for the trauma that you have been through.
Health Tips
It is always recommended that you consider Medication along with psychotherapy for improving and long term management.
You can consult me via Practo or access the nearest support.
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