Hello. Thank you for sharing this honestly. What you are describing does not mean you are weak or a loser. Smiling outwardly while feeling anger or fear inside is very common in people who struggle with social anxiety, low self-confidence, and fear of judgement. Overthinking what others might say or think, feeling afraid to talk to girls, and suppressing anger to avoid conflict are signs that your mind is under constant pressure, not that you lack bravery. In fact, enduring these feelings silently often takes a lot of emotional strength. These patterns can improve significantly with psychological support, especially cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), which helps reduce fear of judgement, manage anger in healthy ways, and build confidence in social interactions.

What is your question actually? This seems like your personality

I understand what you are feeling, it's okay to feel like this. Most of us feel like this. But this is not a disorder or something. If you are troubled by this, you can go for therapy

It sounds like you are struggling with overthinking, low self-confidence, fear of judgment, and suppressed anger. This is commonly seen in social anxiety traits and low self-esteem, not a sign of weakness or being a “loser.” These patterns are treatable. Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) helps reduce fear of others’ opinions and teaches healthy expression of anger. If anxiety is severe or persistent, a psychiatric evaluation can help decide if medication is needed. You’re not alone—and this can improve with the right support.