I can understand how you feel and would strongly recommend to schedule an appointment for therapy / counselling sessions. It is recommended to take multiple sessions to help work through the symptoms mentioned by you

What my hunch is that you feeling some unhealthy negative emotions like  ( anger , depression, anxiety).In order to deal with pain of these emotions you hurt yourself and cry etc. such types of behaviours  provide relief from these emotions but only on temporary basis and if you want to learn long term management of these emotions, go for counselling. I also infer that you are also depreciating yourself or finding very difficult to deals with emotions that why you feel you should kill yourself .

Connect with therapist to resolve inner conflicts

I'm truly sorry to hear that you're feeling this way, and it's important to understand that these emotions can often be the result of underlying issues. Sometimes, past experiences or unresolved emotions can manifest in unexpected ways, such as hyperactivity, anger, self-harm, and overwhelming thoughts. Seeking help from a therapist is a positive step towards making sense of these experiences. They can provide you with a safe and supportive space to explore the root causes of these feelings, understand them better, and develop strategies to navigate through the challenges. Remember, you don't have to face this alone, and reaching out to a professional can be a crucial part of finding relief and making positive changes in your life.