Hello dear, I can understand your condition. However I would like to emphasize that you should seek a consultation with a psychiatrist or psychotherapist near you. Please talk to your family members or friends about the current problems as being faced by you. I think they would come forward out of their biases and help you. Even if they are not supportive or encouraging of such treatment, I sincerely suggest that you should still seek help. You should try to get out of this negative emotional state for yourself and for your loved ones. Please do not lose hope, or hesitate in help seeking. Please be very well assured that your condition can be helped with proper guidance and support.. Hope this helps you somewhat, take care.. Regards Delhi Mind Clinic