Sorry to hear about your difficulties. Without sounding patronising and judgemental, I would like to reassure you that as individuals, we all have different types of coping strategies, when faced with stress for whatever reason. Cutting is one way of coping. It can be very hard to resist such behaviour and thus results in other anxiety states like panic attack. Unfortunately it becomes a cycle and affects one's life including relationship. There are no easy solutions. However you will benefit from thorough assessment by psychiatrist. Best wishes.