Hello. First of all no issue is lame ever. It is affecting you a lot I can see that and you to see that effects as well because if you consider them lame then you wont give these issues the importance they need so you can deal with them and com over them. We humans are made up of our experiences. The more negative the experiences in life the more they negatively affect our thoughts and our actions. Whats is happening with you is a result of those experiences and thats why we need regular counselling in such cases to help us not only understand the events of our past but also to be able to deal with them and work through all the issues. A lot of things of in your life seem to be the product of bad thing leading to another. Smoking as you know is an addiction and to break any addiction habit it takes time and effort and also quite a lot of motivation.
Next Steps
Decide that you want to make a change and start seeking professional help for your issue so you can work on yourself and you can make sure that your future years are not affecting by these past issues. Since there is quite a lot of things you have dealt with and are still dealing with, a professional can help you sort through your issues and work on them priority wise so you can get the best benefits from the sessions.
Health Tips
Dont give up on yourself and go and seek help so that you can live the life you were meant to live. All the Best!