Hello dear, I can understand your distress and despair about the current situation. These multiple crying episodes, and the negative thinking reported by you here, as well as harmiing/hurting self are strongly suggestive of a negative mood and emotional state possibly depression. Hence I would suggest suggest to you a consultation with a psychiatrist near you for comprehensive assessment and management. A detailed assessment will throw light on your condition and possible ways to help you.. However please be assured that your condition can be helped with proper guidance and treatment. Hope this helps you. Best wishes for your health and future. Regards Delhi Mind Clinic