Hi... The real questions are:
1. Why you need someone else's approval for your own feelings?
2. Why can't you just feel what you feel and act accordingly?
3. Why are you ruminating about the choices he made or could have made?
4. Why are you thinking on his behalf?
The way your mind is playing tricks on you, it appears there is a tendency to think and feel this way, probably rooted in your childhood.
You need to rather address those repressed issues in your subconscious/unconscious mind.
Otherwise, there are lots of heartless and insensitive people in this world to keep hurting you again and again.
Next Steps
Consult a Psychologist.
CBT along with Interpersonal Guidance and Counselling is required.
Health Tips
Mr. Gunjan Maithil
Senior Psychologist
Cell: nine six seven one three zero three one three four
Website: https://gunjanmaithil.wixsite.com/therapy
App: http://wix.to/fECHB08?ref=cl