Dear Dipti, I understand you. I am looking at your problem from an existential and developmental perspective. It appears that the goal that you're striving to achieve is not exactly your choice, or you are forcing yourself to do what your mind doesn't want. So many times we all take decisions to do things we really don't want to do, and this is because we tend to seek approval from others  in order to survive - emotionally. This behaviour of ours has roots in our childhood. As a child we all were bubbly, happy, spontaneous, and free spirited. We explored the world the way it came by, and it was great fun living the life. But then, our care givers (parents) had different ideas for us. They wanted us to realise their dreams through us. They set goals for us, and demanded us to achieve. They would accept us only if we met them. Therefore we shelved all our childhood innate qualities and forced ourselves the way our parents demanded. That is how we have ended up doing what we don't want. .

I could see a lot of comparison and demotivation in you. It would be better to consult a psychologist either online or offline for a better clarity and understanding.