Hello Friend, Good that you are seeking a help here. Your symptoms are sign of anxiety or depression. It needs a detailed evaluation to understand your problem problem in detail and to suggest a suitable solution to overcome. Don't hesitate to ask for help. Talk to a psychologists online which will be easy an convenient in your scenario to ventilate your concerns.

I think you are Confused or You are unhappy about yourself or about something else. Seek a professional help to get a clarity. Consult a psychologist.