It's difficult to start from so will come up in random order sorry for that... I like to talk allot about the meaningful things... but have very less people I consider as friends to be precise only 2.. but they are busy in their life... so yeah trying to fit in different environment... lived for past one year without any social interaction where i can connect... found some friends in my new company.. but the mere idea of it being a temporary makes me low... Everyday there is one incidents might be very small or very big... I am forced to ask the question "why I am alive?? Why I am not dead already?" I feel to cry but I end up falling smiles all the time... I get angry, sad or any other emotion I smile.. sometimes laugh... Feels really like shit... if something wrong happens weather between me and my g girlfriend or my friend or anyone... no matter who is wrong.. most of the time I am the one who says sorry... one of my new found friends says to "why you are saying sorry" and a lot more