Hello miss. Good morning While going through ur story , each and every line  depicts ur day to day struggle with ur family, culture , lifestyle and ur Mind. * " Prohibition " is one of safest tool used by our family, culture and religion in order to safeguard their different interests . I personally believe it must be abolished from the roots of our society and culture but, Is it possible ? or Is it right thing to do ? Ans: No ,it's not possible nor it is right bcoz you have gain ur fund of knowledge and perspectives of life differently and ur family, gained it differently . You can't shake the root of thier beliefs that has been imposed over them for centuries .Its very difficult and inappropriate bcoz they have adjusted with their primitive believes for these many years, If you want to encorporate ur set ideas into them then it will be seen as a threat to their beliefs resulting into chaos ,anger & frustation. So, what to do? Think you are trapped in some situations but u r not powerful enough to get rid of it. Without power if u protest or disobey them ,they will supress u and dominate you. How power comes? Power lies in patience not chaos, power lies in education not illeteracy, power lies in skilled not unskilled, power lies in perfect timing not in hurry, Power lies in Self dependence not in dependance. Now show some patience to ur situation , evaluate ur education and skills necessary to make you independent , Assess the correct time of ur life to take any decisions & don't be in hurry to change all things in day ,month or year bcoz as I said earlier ,their roots are beyond centuries. For Such a Big plan you need to have ur mental state in peace so that your mind can process things rationally and effectively & guide you towards ur goal. For regulating ur mental state, Mood, emotions , behaviour ,sleep & appetite ,ur daily life activities u must follow these steps: *Fix ur sleeping & waking time *Sleep must be between 7 to 8 hrs ,not less or   more of it is good. *Eat balanced diet. *INDULGE into some recreational activities,   hobbies. *Do meditation and some little exercise in   morning to calm the persistent tension in ur   muscles, body & mind. *Point out all positive aspects of ur life from   childhood to till date ,if possible make a note   of it. *Everyday try positive aspects from the   circumstances around you . *Avoid negative thoughts, activities, talk, action   people or any scenario that impact ur   positiveness.

Suicidal ideation is an emergency situation. Seek professional help by Psychiatrist immediately