Hello dear
It seems from the above mentioned description that there are some childhood issues or events that are not resolved and are still bothering you. These thoughts are hampering your present performance and reducing your motivation. Try consulting a clinical psychologist to help you resolve these issues through psychotherapy. You can consult either through online consultation or meet the psychologist in person. Discuss it with your parents and spend time with them and friends.
Next Steps
consult a clinical psychologist
Health Tips
spend time with family and friends, share your feelings and thoughts