Hello,
I can see that it has been a long and difficult struggle for you and sure must have taken a toll. It takes a great deal of strength to survive the daily battles you must be fighting.
What I would like to know is, have you reached out to any mental health professional on this past year? Have you been diagnosed with Depression or is it what you have deciphered according to the symptoms you have been seeing?
Next Steps
If you haven't yet been to a mental health professional then I would urge you to do so. If there are any hesitations in that, maybe a support group may help in the beginning, however, you'll need to get a formal diagnosis so that you can help yourself better.
I understand that you may be worried that your family will get stressed if you share your difficulties with them. However, this battle that you are fighting, cannot be fought alone, and you will need all the support you can get. Maybe choose one person in your family who you can trust, and who maybe understands mental illnesses ot at least is sensitive and compassionate. Take them into confidence and ask for their help to motivate you to get help, push yourself bit by bit.
Health Tips
Have patience with yourself.
Forgive your mistakes.
Catch your negative thoughts and try to think and replace them with realistic thoughts.
And remember, sometimes it takes more courage to accept that you are not able to deal with things yourself and it's time to reach out and ask for help.