Hello Friend, Good that you are seeking a help here. I can understand your suitation. Holding on such emotional imbalance within your mind is not adviced. It will lead to depression or stress.. Looks you are already experiencing this. Solution here is to first figure out the root cause for your emotional disturbance.. First you need to ventilate your emotions, feelings and concerns to someone you care. You can take a professional help of counseling Psychologist to listen to your problem and assess your current situation. With detailed discussion, a suitable solution for you can be explored.

Hi Depression can be endogenous, which means without a external stressor and arising from within. Or exogenous, reaction to an external stressor. Treatment for former is Medications. For latter can be medications and psychotherapy. So please consult a psychiatrist for treatment options. You can always direct consult me.