Sorry to hear about your situation. Without sounding patronising and judgemental, I wish to reassure you that your fears are normal. Relationship breakup is traumatic for everyone concerned and the breakup happens for various reasons. Nonetheless you have been brave to confess about your past relationships. It might be helpful to give some time for issues to settle. If not, it is ok important to look after yourself. If for whatever reason, you continue to struggle to move on irrespective of relationship mending or not, I suggest that you speak to psychiatrist. Best wishes.