I understand you. You are going through tough situation in your marriage that is too much for you to handle. You should speak and share with someone who is non-judgemental and compassionate to get clarity in your issue and find some sense of balance before planning how to deal with it.
Next Steps
I think couple counselling and couple therapy can help you out. (Please don't go for medication since they can help you only temporarily and they don't help you solve your problems.)
To begin with, discuss with your partner and share your concerns and emphasize that couple therapy can provide you both the ways to solve your issues and help you live happily. If he is unwilling - as it happens in many cases I have seen - then you can take individual therapy for yourelf, and this is the next best way out.
Health Tips
Seek counseling from someone whom you can trust. I can help you too. I am a trained counsellor and psychotherapist practising at Bangalore. I do online sessions for my clients who cannot reach out to me personally. For my details view www.medisex.org
Don't despair, there is hope.
Dr Vinod Chebbi, Bangalore.