A separation is a painful decision for anyone to make. I can understand you must be feeling very upset, confused and having multiple emotions going through your mind. Please seek professional help on the form of a psychiatrist or psychologist who will help both you and your son through this difficult time. Also you can be assessed for depression or anxiety and treatment can be started for that which will definitely help you feel much better and you will be in a much better state of mind to deal with the events of the future and past.