Hi thanks for query. I am sorry for your situation. I think you are in emotional distress, related to personal or career life. First of all don't analyze your self by putting the board of different names. Yes the situation might be too negative with you, but I appreciate your courage and confidence to put forward your thoughts in the forum. Think you have already started to heal your emotions. Try to work on the reason for anxiety or other problems. Take a help of psychologist or psychiatrist for better assessment and guidance.