Hello, maybe may not be. Sometimes the suicidal thoughts and handshaking can be a part of unresolved depression and anxiety. But saying so, depressants can also cause suicidal thoughts. So you need to discuss these things with your therapist.
Next Steps
your therapist is the best person to solve your problems and if if he or she e can't solve it then take another opinion to solve it
Health Tips
Depression and anxiety can be solved best with the combination of counselling and medication. counselling or psychotherapy should be always a part of the management. and also we should focus on the positive aspect of the person, just focusing on the illness part of the person does not give a holistic approach. hence I would suggest you to meet a psychiatrist who is also good in psychotherapy who can also counsel in positive psychology