You need to structure your thoughts and action. I can help you with feeling positive rather than negative in such a situation. You don't have to learn to be selfish, you have to learn to appreciate your efforts and work towards the same with these strong emotions plus logic . You may opt for an online counselling session . We can have a video chat.
Next Steps
consult because these crying spells are harming you
Health Tips
your act of kindness, however small it might be, will never go wasted.