I am depressed all the time. Thinking about death has become a habit. I loathe company. I don't want people around me. Just want to sit alone and don't want to think about anything. There is a strong urge to be in solitude. I get irritated very easily and end up crying at very trivial and stupid things. I was depressed 2 years ago. Was on treatment for months. It keeps creeping its way back. My relationships are getting affected. I don't talk to my parents very often. Always i want to be alone. I go out on my own and sit in one corner of the restaurant and do nothing. I am afraid it is going to take me with it this time. The urge to do self harm is coming back. I don't want to face it all, again. I need help an don't know how to get it. I don't go for counselling. It has become a disease, not to go for counselling. Any sort of help will be appreciated.