Hello Friend, Good that you are reaching out for help. You need one listening ears to hear your concerns first. That should help you to reduce the burden in your heart. I know you may not feel comfortable to  share some secrets with these  friends or family members. But you can do that with a  trusted person like psychology counselor who will neutral and help you to figure out the problem and suitable solutions.

You need a Counselor whom you can trust and can guide in your your difficulties. Kindly visit a psychologist for this.