Hi you seem to be going through a tough time. It must be hard to find reasons to be alive but taking your own life is also a disrespect and disregard for your own life. Sometimes, you'll find many reasons to live in the external world eg. Family, boyfriend, friends, job etc but there are times when these reasons disappear. Then, if you look at the situation from another perspective, it may mean that you don't have enough reasons to live for yourself eg. Your dreams, vision for the future, own happiness, respect and importance. The new challenge for you could be to strive towards your dreams irrespective of changing external realities or trying to strike a balance between your relationships(by working on them) and your life goals.