Hello Friend, Good that you are seeking a help here. I can understand your suitation. Just by posting repeated questions in this forum, your problem will not be solved. What you need is a detailed evaluation of your symptoms and recommendation of suitable solution. Looks like you are very much disturbed due to some emotional disturbance and currently not in a stable mind. Such problems are just like any other physical illness and can be treated through counseling session, few lifestyle changes, dietary, self behavioral therapy etc. So don't hesitate to take help from family and discuss. In such suitations, it better to take a professional help. Consult a psychiatrist directly in your town. Be positive. You will be alright.