Dr. Tapan Mukherjee

Thank you so much for your kind words of appreciation and for keeping faith in our endeavour. We are not God, but we all try to do our job at times in a very critical and High pressure situations with limited window and opportunities to make a crucial decision. We need your sustained support to encourage us in those tough times. At the end of the day a smiling and healed patient is the greatest blessing the Almighty can gift us. Thanks a ton Sir.

The best way to reply to your misdemeanour and deliberate misinformation would be this story: A delightful epistle written by a colleague *A Misconstrued Medico* : Dear Sir, I belong to a profession that Shashi Tharoorji would describe as ‘ *Somatic decrepitude mender* ’ and in common parlance: *Doctor*. Off late, I had some weird experiences which I would like to share with you sir! Recently, I travelled with my family by flight sir ! We reported at check-in a little late by just half an hour sir! (My patients are usually late by one hour for surgery and two hours for consultation). The lady at the check-in counter was very upset with me sir ! Angrily, she asked us to deposit our baggage. Then. I had my doubts! As it was a travel abroad , We were taking three flights with two transits! Would the staff at the various airports know our itinerary ? I asked the lady and she reluctantly replied that they had protocols and our baggage would be safe. But… still I had doubts! So I sent my wife again to clarify the same with the same lady . Same answer….!! But more reluctance! Actually sir , I am a man of perfection and so asked my son to re-clarify again ! This time, the lady got really angry while explaining ! But sir, I wasn't convinced , I wanted an expert from our family to opine! Hence I called my cousin’s brother-in-law’s friend, who is in air related business (he is an air-conditioning mechanic!) and gave the phone to the lady! Now... You see sir! We, doctors, always clear doubts of patients, their relatives, friends, relatives’ friends, friends’ relatives (and even pets!) in person, phone, mail, whatsapp, etc. without grumbling even in midnight sir ! But this lady was furious and asked me to go to hell and with lot of confusions we proceeded to the security check! I could overhear her describing me as a piece of what Tharoorji would call ‘ *Haemorrhagic excrement* !’ Inside the plane, I had a big shock sir! A lady was demonstrating what we should do, when the plane falls into the sea! My goodness.. I got panicky and wanted to see the pilot immediately! The pilot came and I asked him: “ Can I go to business class if I pay extra money?” He agreed. But I had some doubts: “Is business class 100% safe? No emergency exit, oxygen stuff, etc...!! Right?” He said “NO!” Look sir! I am paying 3 or 4 times more than (Tharoorji’s) ‘ *cattle class*. But u say still the plane can fall into the sea!! Then I asked him my second doubt: “Does business class reach the destination a few hours earlier?” (‘Pay more! Expect more!’ - our patients’ policy sir!) Again a ‘NO!’ I made a last request to the pilot: “Sir! Today…. Wednesday! Now it is 8.40am! Yamakandam is over only at 9’o clock. Can you please delay take off by 20 minutes?” He banged the cockpit door on my face, sir, and called me what Tharoorji would term ‘ *Progeny of un-solemnised copulation* ' Not only flight sir . Once , During rail travel booking too, I had problems sir! The first class AC rail ticket charges were exorbitantly high sir! I politely asked the booking clerk for concession. He said, “If you want to pay less, travel in second non-AC!” Even after explaining to him that my family always loyally travelled by their railways for more than four decades, he would not oblige. I called him “ *Greedy fellow* !!” Just like patients call Doctors when they see the hospital bill. In return, that man scolded me with a word, which Tharoorji would term as ‘ *Maternal fornicator* !’ The final incident took place last week sir! Our family had sumptuous biriyani at a hotel in our town sir . When the bill came, I was shocked sir! Immediately I called the manager and complained about the exorbitant charges. He went on to explain, “Look sir! Do you know what ingredients we use for our biriyani? All.... branded items! Kohinoor basmati rice, all spices from Everest and so on ..... I stopped him mid-sentence: “ You cheat! Now.... I have caught you red-handed! Rice in ration shop is less than Rs.10 a kilo, And Just 2 rupees in Tamilnadu ,, But you buy rice for Rs.300 a kilo....! I know..... you have a secret deal with all the companies and overcharge the customers!” The same accusation that the *Indian intelligentsia including the PM-ji throw against us doctors* ! But sir.... the manager called all his staff, threw me out after making me pay the bill with no.mercy !! The words they used sir...... !!! no sir.... &%£@%& Even Tharoorji’s thesaurus would not have equivalent words! *Written by a fellow doc.* BTW, YOU FAILED TO MENTION YOU ARE DOING JUST FINE POST OPERATION (For your fissure and Phimosis, both!). Sorry, couldn't satisfy your zeal to learn medical science in a crash course at your follow up visit!