Pornographic addiction is the biggest epidemic of the present day. It has seeped so much into our lives that it is almost impossible to get it out. It is in News, media, magazines, internet and everywhere. A 2016 survey has ranked India as the 3rd largest source of traffic for the popular porn website, PornHub. 60% of these viewers consume porn through mobile. This is a clear indication of the porn-boom because of the growing availability of data and mobile even into Tier 2, 3 cities and rural areas.

Important Questions

Should you spend your time reading this article? The below questions will help you decide.

  • Am I not able to stop myself from watching porn when I don't want to?
  • Am I able to enjoy quality relationships with my friends, family and spouse?
  • Am I spending too much of my time fantasizing about people in my office or neighborhood etc.?
  • Am I not able to stop watching and fantasizing the body-parts of people walking on the streets? 

If you answered 'Yes' to most of the questions, read on to find out how it is affecting your life and what you can do change your situation. 


How does it affect us?

While sex is not bad, porn definitely is! Porn is like a drug and not close to real sex. But, the compulsion is so big that you may sometimes not want to do it, but end up doing it anyway against your will and wish. This is a classic case of falling slave to your own compulsions. Addiction to porn leads to:

  • Compulsive objectification, continuous fantasizing and desire to indulge in sex. 
  • Over-stimulation leads to dysfunction of sexual organs and mind-numbing in general 
  • Loss of time which could be invested in something productive and fulfilling
  • Loss of focus and energy for important things in life
  • Depression is possible when someone is highly addicted
  • Reduction in quality of relationships enjoyed with spouse, family and friends.

Why do we fall into it?

It is important to observe that most people find some respite or relaxation in porn when they can't get it elsewhere, but what starts as a respite becomes a drug. There are a number of reasons why someone would get compulsively addicted to porn and fantasies. Some of them are:

  • Isolation and loneliness
  • Abuse as a child
  • Casual habit turned chronic addiction
  • Lack of confidence in forming relationships
  • Social aloofness
  • Developing wrong ideas about sex owing to sexual encounters at a tender age

How shall one win over this? 

Here are the 6 R's of winning over porn-addiction:

  • Realize: The very first step is to stop for a second and realize your present state. How often do you watch porn? How much time do you spend thinking porn or fantasizing about your boss, relative, neighbor or maid or whoever! How bad do you think your situation is?
  • Recognize: Observe yourself and make a note of all those things that trigger you into fantasies, watching porn and masturbating. Is it accidentally or intentionally getting a flash of someone's flesh? What are your triggers? Make a full detailed list.
  • Rectify: Once you identify your triggers, it is now time to avoid or remove the triggers that are unnecessarily occupying space in your life.
  • Re-frame: Some of the triggers can be re-framed. For example, if you find yourself objectifying someone, it helps to remember that the person is a human with smells, likes and dislikes. 
  • Re-channelize: For the triggers that you cannot avoid, remove or re-frame, it is wise to become aware when they come up and re-channelize your energy into something productive rather than flushing it down the toilet. Pick creative activities, new valuable skills and any worthy distractions to indulge in!
  • Re-vitalize: Be aware that sex is just a part of the larger game of love. While mere sex/masturbation does provide gratification and satisfaction, it is still temporary and cannot compare with the fulfillment derived from true intimacy. Re-kindle real relationships instead of spending time on online fantasies. Build genuine intimacy and love with your partner.

These are a few ways in which you can win over this life-sucking phenomenon. If all else fails and if you feel utterly powerless, it is time to accept that you need therapy and contact a skilled counsellor to help you navigate this issue.

P.S: There are a lot of us who do watch porn in balance and are still able to maintain healthy lives. They may continue that life-style if they find no issues with it.