Anger is a normal emotion that we have all faced at some or the other point. Some face it more often than others and may resort to behaviour that is destructive or counter-productive.
What if this anger was manageable?? I mean surely no can never get angry. But the idea behind anger management is to MANAGE it, not erase it completely.
Here are a few simple effective techniques:-
1. Identify your TRIGGER:
We all have triggers. What ticks you off? Take a moment to notice if someone or something repeatedly ticks you off. It could be as simple as a noise, being hungry or even a friend’s mean words. Knowing where the problem may lie is step number one.
2. Identify your ANGER RESPONSE –verbal/physical; inward/outward:
How do you express your anger? Is it verbally by using rude language or hurtful words, or physical. Also see if you tend to hurt yourself during the anger outbursts (self-loathing, negative self talk) or display it outwards onto others.
3. Identify your NEEDS:
Most individuals get angry when they feel WRONGED. Why are you feeling wronged? Do you feel unappreciated or demeaned? If your needs are not met with, that could be a reason for recurrent anger.
4. COMMUNICATE better:
Rather than an aggressive stance, chose an ASSERTIVE stance to communicate with others.
5. Take a moment to step back:
If you tend to get angry often, take a moment next time and think from the other individual’s point of view. Did he or she really not do the work you assigned them to make you angry? Or could there be another valid reason. Hear them out and then decide rather than fire them from the start.
If all else fails, it would be wise to speak to a close friend/partner/confidant. There are many other anger management techniques as well, tailor-made for each individual. At times, one may need a thorough psychiatric assessment to understand the source of anger and help them. Don’t be shy of seeking professional help.
Dr.Era Dutta
(MD Psychiatry, DNB Psych, MBBS)
Consultant Psychiatrist & counsellor
Mind Wellness, Kolkata