“It's okay to fail”- tell your child
(Hard work is important to succeed but failure can also be taken as a learning)
Pressure of scoring maximum possible marks, pressure of standing first in the class, pressure of getting admission in the top ranking college, pressure of becoming a role model for the siblings, pressure of performing well in extracurricular activities, pressure of making reputation among the family members and society, pressure of the futuristic achievements, Pressure of maintaining modern lifestyle, Pressure…pressure…pressure… How much pressure our kids can handle, how much pressure we will give them and how long they will survive with this much of pressure.
For teenagers committing suicide has become easier than facing failure.
Rate of teenager suicide is increasing drastically and situation is becoming scary day by day. According to the latest World Health Organization (WHO) Mortality Database, Global suicide rates among adolescents in the 15-19 age group is increasing severely. In the 90 countries (areas) studied, suicide was the fourth leading cause of death among young males and the third for young females. Out of the total death of the youth worldwide, suicide accounted for 9.1%, and this happens due to one or the other unmanaged pressure. Due to so much of pressure, the tolerance of our kids is reducing day and their ego is becoming so fragile that they cannot handle small failure or rejection. What kind of future they will have, is a matter a worry? The anxiety attached with the thought of getting fail is already reducing their efficiency. The fear of rejection has gone to a very high level and it is becoming reason for many types of psychological disturbances.
What is making their self efficacy so weak? Who is damaging their self respect? How have their self image become so fragile?
Ask few questions to yourself:
- How their personality is developing?
- What as a parent we are teaching them?
- What we are doing with our own kids and what we want to make out of them?
- How we are effecting there sensitivity?
- Are they actually growing well?
Tips to manage your teen effectively:
Stop comparing (First and for most): Every child is a special creation of the god and all have their respective qualities. No one can be like anyone else. If you are comparing your child then you are doing the worst possible to him/her. Let them experience their uniqueness and be the best in it.
Boost your teen's self-confidence: Encourage your child to face his/her fears, not run away from them: Winning and losing is part of life and also the state of mind, if there is any fear it is needed to win over it. Encourage your child to face it and deal with it, avoidance and running will not work in the long run.
Respect your teen’s decisions: Nobody takes wrong decisions willingly, we always decide according to our mental capacity. If you find their decisions wrong then provide the right suggestion instead of nagging or rejections. Remember, rejection will promote a rebellion behaviour and suggestion can encourage a positive brain storming.
Be a friend to your teen: Your teen is grown up enough to learn the real life aspects. Now he needs friends and supporter more than guides. You also have to provide them the comfort like friends so that your teen can open up with you.
Encourage your child to express his/her anxiety: Ventilation is the best treatment technique for stress and anxiety. Make your teen so comfortable with you that they feel free to share their tensions and worries with you. Always try to keep them in your confidence, and a non-judgmental way is the best way of dealing with emotions.
Tell your child that it is okay to be imperfect: there is nothing like perfect or imperfect, it is all about understanding. No one is superman and can be good in every aspect. Degree of excellence varies and that is the beauty of life.
Focus on the positives: Rather than counting the weaknesses better highlight the positives and always encourage your teen to stay positive. Your teen must be good in many activities, boost him/her according to their choices.
Reward your child's brave behaviours: Reinforcement is the best way of behaviour modification and a healthy living. Always make your teen feel good about his achievements by suitable rewards but make sure that rewards should not convert in to bribe.
Help your child to problem solve: Do not jump into their problems to solve them, instead encourage your child to think for the possible solutions and support them by being by their side.
Be vigilant about his/her surrounding: Bullying may be another reason for teens to think the child about committing suicide. Try keeping eye on such activities and train your child about bullying, its side effects and the ways of dealing with it.
Stay calm: Anxiety and stress can never help in solving a problem. Children imitate their parents in their way of dealing with situations. Your relaxed dealing will inculcate the same behavior in them. Don’t forget-Calm decisions are much wiser.
Practice relaxation exercises with your child: A healthy mind stays in a healthy body. So to keep your teen’s mental health intact, you have to motivate him/her to stay physical healthy.
Encourage good sleep hygiene: Physical health leads to psychological well-being, so it is your responsibility to sensitize your teen about it and play as a role model to them.
Never give up: Teach your child to never lose heart because ever problem comes with its solution in one way or the other.
Children are most precious to the parents, don’t lose them
“ Problems grow weaker, when the love is deeper”