- Poor conflict management
- Allowing conflict to escalate
- Looking only at the negative (or the perceived negative)
- Invalidation of one another's feelings
- Withdrawing and avoiding
- Unwillingness to compromise
- Not making time to nurture the marriage
- Becoming too busy with school, children, church callings
- Locked into your own personal routines
- Keeping outside interests separate from one another
- Power differential:
- Buying into gender stereotypes
- Misuse of priesthood responsibility to manipulate and control
- Money as a way to manipulate and control
- Inability or unwillingness to handle differences in expectation following are some common trouble areas
- Money management
- Sexuality
- Handling family traditions, holidays, special occasions
- Disciplining children
- Household cleanliness
- Relating to parents and in-laws
- Religious practice
- Following are these four styles listed from least to most destructive:
- Criticism
- Attacking ones character and personality with blame
- Making global accusations rather than specific complaints
- Contempt
- Intent to insult and abuse your partner psychologically
- Includes name calling, hostile humor, mockery, and body language (e.g., sneering, rolling eyes).
- Defensiveness
- Denying responsibility
- Making excuses
- Cross-complaining
- Yes-butting
- Whining
- Negative body language (e.g., arms folded across chest, hands touch neck)
- Stonewalling
- One partner does not react to the other
- Ignores
- Leaves the room
- Responds by sarcastically saying, "whatever", or "you're right" as a way to get the other person off his/her back
A healthy, lasting marriage draws from abundant wells of positivity as well as a sense of mutual understanding on effective styles of interacting.