Low self-confidence isn't a life sentence. Self-confidence can be learned, practiced, and mastered--just like any other skill. Once you master it, everything in your life will change for the better."The importance of self-confidence in our lives cannot be overstated. It is, after all, a lack of self-confidence that causes our lives to be tossed to and fro by the sway of culture.
From the very beginning, we see the harmful effects of low self-confidence on our decision-making process while the fear of rejection becomes an all too common presence in our lives. It causes many to adopt the values of the group and engage in otherwise undesired behavior. Simply put, the need for love, belonging, and acceptance becomes stronger than the internal compass within us. And many unhealthy life choices begin to emerge.
It comes down to one simple question: If you don't believe in yourself, how do you expect anybody else to?
Try some of the tips listed below.
Don't just read them and put them on the back burner. Really begin to practice them daily, beginning today. You might have to fake it at first and merely appear to be self-confident, but eventually you will begin to feel the foundation of self-confidence grow within you. With some time and practice (this is not an overnight phenomenon), you too can be a self-confident person, both inside and out, whom others admire and say "Yes!" to.
- Write a list of the things you’re tolerating and putting up with in your life, then write down how you can remove, minimise or diminish each one.
- Look at a great win or success you’ve experienced and give yourself credit for your part in it. Recognising your achievements is not egotistical, it’s healthy.
- Do one thing each day that makes you smile (on the inside or on the outside).
- You have to keep your mind well fed, so write a list of 20 things that keeps your mind feeling nourished and make sure you’re giving them room in your life.
- Stop playing different roles and squeezing yourself into boxes based on what you think people expect you to act like.
- Learn to catch yourself every single time you tell yourself that you can’t have, won’t get or aren’t good enough to get what you want.
- Take yourself off auto-pilot – make deliberate decisions on what really matters to you.
- Next time you come up against a risk or a challenge, listen to what you tell yourself and look for a way that that inner dialog can be improved. Ask yourself, “What would make this easier?”
- Don’t think for a second that you can’t be confident. There are already loads of things you do with natural self-confidence, you just have to notice them and get familiar with how it feels. Look for the things you do where the question of whether you’re confident enough never arises.
- Listen to your doubts but be ready to make deliberate decisions once you’ve heard them. Sometimes your doubts are there to let you know what you need to prepare for, so you can use them to your benefit as you move forwards.
- You’ve got a whole bunch of outdated rules that determine what you do, don’t do, should do and shouldn’t do. These rules limit your thinking and limit your behaviour. Tear up your rule book and notice how free you are to make great decisions.
- Do you get annoyed with yourself because you didn’t make the most of something or stepped back from an opportunity? Don’t beat yourself up because that’s just going to make you feel worse. Instead, be brutally honest and ask yourself what you gained from the situation and what you lost out on. Based on this win/lose balance, what’s a different choice you can make next time?
- If there’s someone in your life who puts you down or makes you feel small, you owe it to yourself to let them know that you expect something different from now on. You deserve better.
- Acknowledge and welcome all of your experiences – the good stuff as well as the bad stuff. It’s all equally valid and hiding things away because you don’t like them is just creating conflict.
- Always recognise that you’re more than a match for any situation you might find yourself in, no matter how tough the going gets.
- Confidence sometimes means admitting you’re wrong – always be ready to hold your hands up and change your mind.
- Trust your instincts. They know what they’re talking about.
- Don’t feel like you have to do everything yourself – sometimes the most confident thing to do is ask for help.
- Take a chance on something tomorrow. Anything, big or small, just take a chance.
- You need to be around people who make you feel like YOU, so spend more time with the people who support and encourage you and less with those who undermine you.
- Stop struggling against the things you don’t like in your life – create a congruent environment around you that flows and allows you to be you.
- No man’s an island, and you need to be a part of the world you around to feel confident. What can you participate in that’s important to you?
- Forget the pro’s and con’s – do something bold in the face of your challenges and fears.
- Work on developing the skills you need to win at the things that matter to you. What can you practice that would radically improve your chances of winning?
- The body is a mirror for the mind, so shifting your body into a confident state can have surprising results.
- Don’t get disheartened or de motivated when you get to 90% with something you’re working on – push through and you’ll see that the last 10% is where the magic happens.
- If there’s something you’ve been struggling to understand for a while, stop trying to understand it. Accept it just as it is, fully and wholly.
- Your environment directly impacts your self-perception, so if you’re surrounded by clutter, paperwork and rubbish put a morning aside to clean up your stuff and get organised.
- Write yourself a list of the amazing things you’d love to do in your life, and make a start by simply looking into the first one or two things that leap out at you.
- Don’t make your happiness or self-worth dependent on being in a relationship or being validated by someone else. Find your inherent value first, and your relationships and confidence will be immeasurably better.
- Your strengths can be used to overcome any of your weaknesses. We all have weaknesses but they only undermine your confidence if you let them.
- Your body image does matter, because if you have a bad relationship with your body you won’t be feeling confident in yourself. Get trim if you need to; just make sure you get along with your body.
- Being confident is an ongoing process. It isn’t a goal or an endpoint that you reach and then stop. Keep playing to the best of your ability and your confidence will always be there to support you.
- Try a new path. The well-trodden paths of your life can easily turn from familiarity to apathy and disconnection. A new path wakes you up.
- When you feel yourself focusing inwards and becoming paralysed with doubt or fear, switch to focusing outwards at what you can engage and interact with.Still beating yourself up for failing or screwing up? It might not be a barrel of laughs but it’s not going to help you get through it. Much better to recognise that everything, whether it turns out or not, is how you practice living a rich life.