3 years ago my mother passed since then i hve been doing all the household jobs,keeping on with my studies taking care of my dad and younger brother and boyfried!!it seems there is no happiness in life!!my life is getting crushed between all these!!want to knw.if there is a way out!!want to get relief from all problems
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Dear Young Lady,
Situations have made you grow up sooner & be a nurturer though you aren't ready to carry all the burden yet. I see some rigid gender roles operating in your life. It sounds as if taking care of others is your unquestioned responsibility though it is leaving you with no "me" time. It is as if you have replaced your mother along with being you. Anyone can nurture others only if she is feeling nurtured inside. How much ever you do in your current mindset is going to make neither you nor others happy because you can give only what you truly have. In your current mindset, though you are toiling for others, you have a lot of irritation, anger & frustration within you, which also would be given to others. To change the situation, whole family has to replace your mother rather than you shouldering it alone. You will have to think about expected changes thoroughly and discuss with your father & brother. Even with your boyfriend, you need to stop being his mother and just be his girlfriend with a clear understanding as well as communication of mutual expectations. My dear, relations around us are supposed to be mutually supportive and empowering however it functions so only if you start behaving like an empowered adult. Please do not hesitate to contact a psychologist who could help you further in restructuring your life. Take Care.