Stress, overthinking. Live alone there!

I have everything parents,job,love etc etc but i am scared to laugh,i cry while laughing,i don't enjoy my life,everything is monotonous,i want to be pampered,i am in relationship for last 3 yrs but not happy, i feel alone i share everything with him but still most of the times i am alone. My mother is not well, i work at home also and no one thinks what i am going through,i have always lived for others ,i think a lot,i go out of my comfort zone for my loved ones but never received the same. My boyfriend tells me to share things with him but his life is very happening so he does not understand my situation i don't have any life outside working alone in ofc,cooking taking care of other people. I just don't want to live or i just want to go somewhere alone and take a deep breath and live alone there