It is important as of now to gain back your confidence as you are now old enough to protect yourself. This understanding you need to instill within you that you are not anymore a small child who is helpless, but a young adult who can make positive changes in your life.
You can contact a CLinical Hypnotherapist to help take out the negative emotions of childhood and postive things and perspectives can be made clear so that you gain back your self confidence.
What is that u wanted? A certificate from the person who made your childhood very bad or a reunion of your ex relationship. What r u lookin for?.!!! If you are searching peace and happiness and you feel that you hv lost happiness due to them, then u r completely Wrong!!
I am sorry to say that but that is the truth. If u want to learn to live happily do go and meet a Counsellor or a Psychologist and live life happily and cheerfully.
I empathise with everything you are going through. Your distress is understandable.
You can seek guidance from a trained psychotherapist. Psychotherapy/ Counselling will teach you skills to overcome your past and build resilience.
You can call my office for guidance in finding a good therapist near you.
You have not mentioned whether you are implying sexual abuse. However it is clear that someone in your family had hurt you badly, and the fact that this person still lives with you makes you feel insecure. If it is sexual abuse, then the psychological ramifications can affect you; and it does reflect in your relations. You need to see a psychiatrist first. You might require medical treatment for depression and anxiety. You will also need counseling. You can discuss with the psychiatrist and request him to refer you to a clinical psychologist for that purpose. Meanwhile, it may not be advisable for you to live with the person who makes you feel so insecure. If you are financially independent you may consider living away from the offending person. But all this can be achieved only after you gain your emotional equilibrium. So, go about solving this problem step by step. First, a psychiatrist, then a clinical psychologist, and then your future plans with their guidance. Take care.