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Relationship problem

I know a girl since 5 years and after sometime we got into relationship. Initially i was just thinking of her as a good friend but over period of time I got liking of her. Couple of years back she informed me that she loves me and want to get married wid me. I was hesitant initially but she was very convinced that I am right person for her.. So a lot of thinking even i thot may be she is right person for me.. Now the problem is she is 3-4 years elder than me and we both belong to completely opposite community. Her parents accept me but my parents have told me they will not accept her and informed me to stay away from any such thoughts. Since last year and half I am trying to convince my parents about her but they are not agreeing. My problem are two (1) i cannot go against my parents wish and get married to her and live separately (2) I am worried for that girl as she told me that she will only marry me and no one else. I m really disturbed and depressed.. pls suggest right way
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Ms. Hema Sampath
Clinical Psychologist 11 yrs exp Bangalore

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Hi , There are 2 things i which you need clarity. 1. Do you really wanted to get married now n also with that girl. 2. R u you a decision maker or a Follower???... If you get answers for the above questions your questions is anwered by you itself. Also try to consult a counsellor both of you and understand better about you both.
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Dr. Rashmi Patil
Psychiatrist 7 yrs exp Pune
You try to be stable first before taking any decisions U have to take your own decision. Think about the consequences and then decide.
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Dr. Kavita Sagarkar
Psychiatrist 21 yrs exp Mumbai
You do not seem ready to fully commit to the relationship. As you are 27 years old, you should be able to take your own decisions. Your parents not approving of the relationship is not reason enough to back off. Try to understand your own feelings better. As far as the girl is concerned, if you are not in position to marry her, please make it clear to her as early as possible. Tell her the real reason and she will have to handle her emotions thereafter. It may hurt her initially but it is better to be clear about your intentions rather than have confusion after the marriage. Counseling can also help you get clarity or even help you get rid of depressive thoughts.
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