Male to Female Transition. Professional.

Hello! I am a male 29 years but since childhood I feel like a female. I dont know what is the reason behind this. I also cannot grow full beard and upper body has no hair growth and I have very fair complexion. I want to live like a girl and act like one all the time. But when i masturbate this feeling goes suddenly but comes back after some times. I feel attracted towards female dressing. But after Masterbation everything fades away for sometime. Even while watching any sexual stuff I imagine myself as girl. I cant change my gender due to societal and family pressure. Please help me what should I do. At times I also feel to take some female harmones to make some changes in my body to look complete while dressing up. But I have read that it can make permanent change. Please help or guide me what to do. Currently I am working as a law professional.