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Is this just a crush?
I think I have developed a crush on someone who lives in my society. I noticed her in the society and sometimes in the park. After an event in November my feelings have intensified 10x. Is this just a crush or a limerance? How do I get over it? I feel very perverted obsessing over her considering she is already married
Answers (4)
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Hi
What you’re describing sounds less like simple attraction and more like limerence when the mind fixates on someone and the feelings intensify even without any real relationship or closeness. It often happens when a person is going through stress, loneliness, or emotional gaps in their own life. The guilt you’re feeling shows that you’re not trying to cross boundaries; you’re just overwhelmed by the intensity of the thoughts.
The key is not to see yourself as “perverted,” but to understand that limerence is a psychological pattern, not a moral failure. These thoughts become stronger because the person represents something your mind is craving admiration, escape, excitement, or validation. To get over it, you’ll need to interrupt the fantasy thinking, reduce the situations where you mentally idealize her, and reconnect with parts of your own life that feel empty right now. In therapy, we would help you break this cycle gently, without shame, and rebuild emotional grounding so the intensity reduces naturally. Take therapy. You can connect with me on nine two six six seven two six zero six five.
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Hello Sir
People tend to develop feelings for others at various age group and it's very common phenomenon
You can call it by any name
But what is important is what you do and what you are supposed to do and react on that
And it Depends on various situations and conditions what needs to be done next
Next Steps
kindly contact me on seven nine seven four six zero eight one nine nine or kindly consult online for further management and treatment
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Hi.. it happens sometimes. Counseling can help. Consult online for treatment. Alternatively you can search google for Dr. Shailaja Bandla, psychiatrist for contact info.
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Hello, What you are describing sounds like a strong emotional attraction that has become more intense over time. This can happen when someone becomes a symbolic source of comfort, excitement, or fantasy - especially if you see them regularly.
Feeling drawn toward someone who is unavailable does not make you “perverted”; it reflects a natural human response, but one that now needs boundaries so it doesn’t affect your well-being.
A crush usually fades with time and distance. Limerence, on the other hand, feels more intrusive, idealised, and persistent - exactly what you’re noticing (“intensified 10x,” difficulty letting go, obsessive thinking). The important thing is not the label, but understanding that these feelings are manageable with the right steps.
Next Steps
1. Limit exposure and triggers- reduce unnecessary interactions, avoid situations where you look for her intentionally, and shift your attention to other parts of life.
2. Redirect emotional energy- reconnect with friendships, hobbies, or meaningful activities that give grounding and satisfaction.
3. Reality-check the thought cycle- remind yourself she is married and unavailable; pursuing this will only create emotional distress for you and complications for others.
4. If thoughts feel intrusive, shameful, or hard to control, consider speaking to a mental health professional. They can help you understand why the attachment formed and how to break the loop of obsessive thinking.
5. Focus on building healthy relationships where reciprocity is possible.
Health Tips
- Do not blame yourself- attraction is human, but acting on it is a choice, and you are already taking a responsible step by reflecting on this.
- Avoid interpreting casual looks or interactions as signs; this often strengthens limerence.
- Practice grounding techniques (breathing, shifting attention, short walks) whenever obsessive thoughts start.
For more queries, Reach out for an online or in-person consultation:
📞 NEURONAL FIX CLINIC, RAMPRASTHA COLONY, Ghaziabad, (near Shreshtha Vihar, Delhi)- +91- 74XX52XX97XX67XX61
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Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.