I just married 4 months ago and I have had sex before not my wife.
After marriage we are trying to have sex but it won't happen
The penis don't fit or go inside the vagaina
And we both feel pain on our private part
Please help
I don't know what to do 🙏
Answers (13)
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Your wife may be a virgin or first timer. She might be experiencing tightness in vagina which is normal. It should settle within 1 to 2 wks of sexual intercourse.
If the problem still persists then she might be suffering from vaginismus or experiencing stress about the act.
It needs to be treated asap otherwise it may get complicated and can affect your personal and sexual life.
It can be well treated with sexual counseling sessions for both and homeopathic medicine effectively and without any side effects.
It needs to be treated in a holistic approach for complete recovery.
You need an expert Sexologist who is a good homeopathic physician and psychologist.
Next Steps
I have been working as a sexologist, Homeopathic Psychiatrist and Counseling psychologist for the last 17 years of experience. You can contact me through an online appointment for further assistance.
Based on your description, the difficulty with penetration is not necessarily due to your penis, especially since you have had successful intercourse in the past. When both partners experience pain during attempts at penetration, the problem may be related to your wife's vaginal muscles tightening involuntarily (vaginismus), inadequate lubrication, anxiety, insufficient foreplay, or less commonly, an anatomical condition. Vaginal dryness or a local infection can also make penetration painful.
Since this has been happening consistently for 4 months after marriage, it is important not to keep forcing penetration, as this can increase pain, fear, and muscle tightening, making the problem worse.
Next Steps
For a comprehensive evaluation and personalized guidance, you may connect with us at 9 3 1 5 6 6 1 5 6 6 1 5 6 5. We will help identify the exact cause and guide both of you with an individualized treatment approach.
Health Tips
Do not blame yourself or your wifeâthis is a common and treatable problem in newly married couples. Avoid comparing your experience with others, and do not let repeated unsuccessful attempts create performance anxiety. Once the underlying cause is identified and treated, the vast majority of couples are able to achieve comfortable and satisfying intercourse and go on to have a normal married and sexual life. Thank you
The inability to achieve penetration after several attempts, especially when both partners experience pain.
There could be many conditions in female such as vaginismus inadequate lubrication anxiety related to first intercourse vaginitis and so on.
In the male partner pain may be due to phimosis frenulum problems infection forceful attempts.
So in this case need proper physical examination
Consult a gynaecologist and for the male sexologist.
First, please be completely reassured: this is a very common issue in newly married couples, known as unconsummated marriage, and it is highly treatable.
When penetration feels physically impossible ("won't fit or go inside") and causes pain for both partners, the primary underlying cause is almost always vaginismus combined with performance anxiety.
Vaginismus is an involuntary, reflexive spasm or tightening of the pelvic floor muscles around the vaginal opening. When a woman feels anxious, fearful of pain, or tense during early attempts at intercourse, these pelvic muscles contract tightly shut, making entry painful or impossible and causing localized discomfort for the male
partner as well.
This is not a anatomical structural defect or a failure on either of your parts—it is simply a muscle reflex that can be relaxed and retrained with proper guidance.
Next Steps
Consult a Gynecologist Together: Schedule an in-person evaluation for your wife with a compassionate gynecologist. A gentle clinical exam can rule out any rigid hymenal tissue or localized inflammation and confirm pelvic floor muscle tightness.
Seek Guidance from a Sexologist / Sex Therapist: Work with a specialist trained in psychosexual therapy. They can guide your wife through progressive pelvic floor muscle relaxation exercises (such as Kegel relaxation and the use of gradual vaginal dilators) to gently retrain the pelvic floor reflex.
Incorporate Adequate Lubrication and Extended Foreplay: Never force penetration. Use generous amounts of a water-based lubricant to reduce friction, and spend ample time on unhurried foreplay to build natural arousal and physical relaxation before attempting entry.
Health Tips
Never try to force penetration through resistance or pain. Forcing entry increases localized tissue pain, which triggers a stronger involuntary muscle spasm the next time, creating a chronic cycle of fear and pain for both partners.
Remove Performance Pressure: Shift the focus of your intimate time away from penetration for a few weeks. Focus on non-penetrative touching, cuddling, and mutual pleasure to lower baseline anxiety and rebuild comfort and trust in the bedroom.
Practice Deep Diaphragmatic Breathing: Deep, slow abdominal breathing helps lower systemic muscle tension and consciously relaxes the pelvic floor muscles prior to any physical intimacy.
This is common in newly married couples. Do not force penetration. Use enough foreplay and a water-based lubricant. If intercourse is still not possible or there is severe pain,
Next Steps
both of you should consult a gynecologist or a sexologist. It may be due to vaginismus or another treatable condition.
Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.
Disclaimer : The content is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment. Always seek the advice of your physician or other qualified health provider with any questions you may have regarding your medical condition. Never disregard professional medical advice or delay in seeking it because of something you have read on this website.
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