Feel worthless. Crave love. i need help.

I feel worthless I spent my childhood watching my mother and father fight. There was blood and fear. They tried to kill each other alot of times. 3 years ago my father left us. also in my childhood my sister used to say she's a ghost and as i was a child i was in fear for 5 years and she continued the act. she used to come at me with a knife .. for her it was a joke she was a kid as well. since then i fear the big eyes. later when my father left us i was shifted to my grand parents and my nanu molested me. i am in depression since 5 years i guess and i just discovered few days back. everything in my life just falls apart. from everywhere its just disappointment. i sleep alot and i wish never to wake up. i hate talking and sharing. as if anybody would understand anyway. my problems may seem smaller to others but i am way to emotional and i crave love. i need help.