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Extramarital affair

I m widow and I m in love with a married man. We stay in different cities but talk to each other every day. My kids know him as a friend of mine. I know he ll not leave his wife for me. He stays alone in different city away from his family. I stay alone in different city. We met twice . We were involved when we met for the second time. What do I do . He says he loves me n he has never felt like this before with his wife or for anybody. He says he feels secured with me. Every day in the night we talk. Even I have got used to him. I get disturbed when he goes to meet his family . The very thought that he is with his wife distubs me. Now his wife is going to be with him for 10 days. This is disturbing me. I ll not be able to talk in the night. Pls help.
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Doctor Answers (2) on Extramarital affair

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Dr. Suruchi Bapat Mumbai | Counselling Psychologist
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All relationships come with the risk of hearbreak n aches. Especially , the ones which are against societal norms are too susceptible  to avoid. Hence, there has to be clarity in your relationship. You have to talk to him and ask if he wants to be with you and get separated from his wife.
If such a decision is possible from his side , then, it is ok being with him. Or else you better stop being with him and can get on with your work or if you are interested in marriage , try finding a match who can take care of you.
Lingering on to him might not be a good idea as he will always give importance and priority to his family. You will remain somebody who is away from that socially accepted circuit.
So decide what you want ..a stable secure life or a life full of tests and roller coaster rides.
All the best and good luck !
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K V Anand Palakkad | Clinical Psychologist
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Dear, I am sorry to say, you are destroying a family. Please keep yourself away from that man and his family. Take a strong decision in that direction. Don't believe that man's words. He wanted an extra marital affair, that's all. You are his pawn. He will use and throw you. Beware. Before he does that, gracefully exit. I suggest online counseling for you. Take care
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