Depression, Anxiety. Lived for 18 years.

Genes do play a major role in all psychological problems.There is genetic pre-disposition to depression You must realize now that your fight to get rid of depression is the cause of depression. Is it possible ?? Please seek a professionals help You have to find your own happiness in whatever way....why not start afresh?

get your counseling done

As per your history given, u are suffering from depression. You need to see a psychiatrist at the earliest and start the treatment.

You should seek treatment from a psychiatrist. Maybe an escalation in dose with counselling might help.

Hello Dear, Situations have been really hard on you. It's difficult to be confident & cheerful as a child when most of the people around are anxious & depressed, because children keep the emotional expression & behaviour of elders as the baseline to understand & shape their own emotions & behaviour. Your anxiety & trouble faced in adjustment after coming out of home seems to be the natural progression of your childhood & teen years. You have had a painful childhood however people around you definitely loved you & have made an attempt to provide you everything they could have provided under the circumstances, amidst their own sufferings & confusions. Seems like they were confused about the best way to handle your truth. At this point, i see a young lady who is intelligent, sensitive, anxious & confused. I also see a brilliant person who is taking bold steps towards solution in spite of the heartaches & pain she is carrying. Firstly i would like to congratulate you for all your efforts. All this while, you were still growing up & did not have control over your inner state of mind or outer environment. That isn't the scenario anymore. You are an adult who is quite capable of altering both. You can sort out things & master your life now. Psychiatrists & Psychologists are trained to help you in this journey of the recovery followed by the mastery of the inner & outer worlds. Let them help you to understand the things in context, manage the variations in the emotions and eventually gain the confidence to create a life you wish for yourself. Consult professionals for assistance & don't stop till you find the one who can understand you & aid you in the process. Good Luck.