Depression and Anxiety. Pain to myself.

Hi Doctor, Due to my family tragedy(I lost my mom in a road accident) in 2013, that sudden state of shock has left unanswered questions within for life! At 2013-2014 - I was doing my 12th grades and my grandma used to stay with us! Later from 2014-2017, I went to college and had been in an affair for 3years! Which eventually made me feel happy like I was not able to feel the loss of Mom! I broke up in 2017 with the relationship because I was not getting mental support from my partner on my career and dreams! And some personal tragedies in the girl's life! I respect those! But after 2017 untill now! I was left alone, I'm doing CA inter at Kozhikode with internship! It's either I'm not able to move out of that relationship or the orphan feeling within me has taken charge! I lost interest in doing things and Sleepless nights took over! Now currently in the past week, I am not able to handle stress, depression and Anxiety all together and I was thinking of giving physical pain to myself.