some of the problems that have been changing my life are listed below..
1.I lost the interest of doing anything
things have became interested to me for some short of while
2. I can't remember things
for example if I enter the room in search of something i can't even remember why i have entered
while I'm talking to someone i can't remember the word that is to be used or name of the person
1½ years back I had some family problems and during that time i was thinking about it too much and my anxiety level was at high
that time i could even kill those peoples who were there behind it
ok, then after 5/6 months everything got over
now whenever people do behave wrong with me i have started thinking of itn
and from 3-4 months before i started feeling sad,
now things are getting more worse
i never feel what I'm feeling right now
I am a Ph.D. student, and I think I am depressed. I cry a lot. I wake up in the middle of the night and can't go back to sleep. I go from sudden burst of energy to lethargy in no time. No matter how hard I try, I can't remember the last time I was happy. I have put on a lot of weight, even though I do not eat much. Sometimes, I feel like everything will be ok if I die. Dying will make things better. How, I don't know. I think I need help but I don't have anyone I can talk to about this. My parents will just worry and tell me to be happy, but I just can't. I try to be better, more positive, but it doesn't work. I have lost interest in everything I used to like. What should I do?
I work in a bank,I feel an inefficient all the time. If am facing a task,I try to find ways to escape it.Sometimes while going to office I remember the tasks and get a thought what if I met with an accident rather than going to office.That would give a genuine reason not to face it.I cry a lot, even sometimes I don't know why am I crying.In between a beautiful conversation I bring a topic with my spouse,where if he doesn't give me the response I need then I fight with him,sulking all through the day,until he apologizes.He doesn't apologize and I say all things like you don't value me and this relationship, so you are not apologizing. I berate myself. I want my colleagues acceptance that I stop my work and help them. But never I get their acceptance or approval. I feel like they berate or think low of me. I ask my spouse am I beautiful?he says am average looking,which is true,but I get hurt.Irony to this, when my mother says I am beautiful I don't believe her.i tell her she is lying.
I hate my self because all given to me but not understand how to do. But there reason is I feel sleepy and stress in my family, study not any other.
From last few days m a lot depress my father told me something that affected me a lot and my bf he doesn't understand me..i dont have friends he is the only one i share things but he dont have time for me..earlier i have committed suicide but failed yesterdat again i tried but somehow i controlled myself..i love my family a lot but my father he thinks m a burden to him as m not getting married my mom she sometimes behave very weirdly n i love my brother he's the one who supports me alot but what i'm going thru right now i cant make him understand..i love my bf a lot n i want to marry him as well even he wants to but right now he's not ready this what he says to me but the thing is that i dont have time n i cant marry anyone else..this all things are going in my mind please help me..i dont want to die please help me..give some suggestions..